Can You Fake Body Confidence?

One of the things that I want to write in this blog about is body confidence and empowering women. I find joy in being able to help people to achieve their best, to feel better and really take charge of their life. I study the subject and I converse it with others, but then I feel a pinch of guilt. Can I really be talking and promoting body positivity and self-empowerment if I don’t feel like it myself? Is it lying if I don’t feel confident myself? Is it misrepresenting the message that I am trying to present? Is it being an imposter?

Can You Fake Body Confidence? - byLiiL

Throughout my childhood, I was doing a lot of sports. All of my evenings were filled with some sports or musical hobbies and you can imagine that I was skinny. This image of myself got so ingrained in my self-image, that when I stopped the competitive sports and exercising every single day and my body started to change I got very self-conscious. I had always been known as the skinny girl and now suddenly I had curves and I had gained weight. Not only did I not feel like myself, but I didn’t want anybody to see me because it was like failing their image of me. I am lucky to have friends who don’t care what I look like and a boyfriend who adores me, it helps a lot with the body image that I have of myself. However, I still can’t help looking into the mirror occasionally and not seeing what I feel like.

The one thing that I have noticed has a big influence on why the change in body image is so slow is the lack of examples out there. I used to love browsing through fashion magazines and watching 90s and early 00s tv shows, which are filled with super skinny models and actresses and that is the body type that we think as “normal”. I didn’t see a person who had been skinny and then gained weight, without the following judging comment of how that person had gained weight. It is seen as a failure to be a woman in the society.

Can You Fake Body Confidence? - byLiiL

I know today there are a lot more positive body image examples and I am trying to focus on them. Partly the reason why I want to write about it is to help myself as well. I find it so inspiring to see women of all sizes and different histories who are making something out of themselves, who are being brave, who are being gracious and who are confident! Why wouldn’t I share that with others? I know what the staples for a positive body-image are. My mother used to make me go in front of a mirror and tell the mirror how beautiful I was, that helped the teenager who apparently had some problem with the body image when her body was changing. I still talk to myself in front of the mirror, but I do cringe. I try to tell myself what I find beautiful about myself and I still cringe. At yoga when we are told that we should cherish our beautiful bodies, I have to force myself to think of all the things my body does. And you know, it really does. I can tell with confidence that I love my body, but still I find it stopping me from so many things, such as wanting to buy clothes or even trying on clothes, going to public spaces to do any kind of sports, I try to hide when I am at a public gathering and make myself as small as I can. And I know I shouldn’t do any of it. It is like my body-image has affected my self-image and it is hard to build back, but I am doing it, although most days it feels like I am faking it till I make it.

I am no longer trying to get back to my teenage weight and body style, there is no point it that, I am a woman now and I want to look like a woman. Now I just want to keep myself healthy and feel good in my body. Most days I do!

 

Do you feel body confident?

With love,

Lii

Favourite Instagram Pics From May

May was full of amazing and exciting Instagram pictures and it was quite difficult to only choose these few here from all the amazing ones. It was also quite funny to see which pictures I was more drawn towards, such as office pics, home decor, illustrations, the beauty of female body and beautifully colourful pics.

 

Share some of your favourite Instagram accounts and pics in the comment box below!

With love,

Lii

8 videos for Feminists

Why we have too few women leaders – While Sheryl Sandberg explains why she also empowers women to go for the leader positions and to fight for their rights.

The person you really need to marry – Witty and insightful explanation of self-love and how it can help you in life and in love life.

8 videos for Feminists - byLiiL

“Locker room talk” Says who? – Alexis Jones talks about why the locker room talk, where men objectify women, is not okay. She talks about how the whole society needs to provide men with the right example of how to treat women and think for themselves, rather than learn this from very disturbing media and porn.

Everyday Sexism – Explains how women and men are really equal now, but how deep the sexism still exists. This talk inspires and empowers you to act towards the equality and fight against people who keep being sexists.

8 videos for Feminists - byLiiL

We should all be feminists – Discussed from a point of view from Nigeria by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This is a well-rounded and at times funny discussion about the problems women and girls face in Nigeria, how we educate our children and what the word feminist means.

Sexism in Gaming – Just as the topic says this video is about sexism happening in gaming. Now you might not be into gaming, but there is a big misrepresentation of how many women and girls are. This talk is about why games should not be sexists as well as why they should be promoted and created equally for all genders.

8 videos for Feminists - byLiiL

The slut, the spinster and the perfect woman – Martha Mosse discusses how these words and depictions of women bound us and restrict us, as well as demean us.

Violence against women – it’s a men’s issue – Jackson Katz talks about the problem in leadership and how that affects the rest of us. He explains that when violence against women happens, how it is often concentrated on the victim rather than asking about the person who violated and why he did it.

 

With love,

Lii

First 12 books of 2017

How To Be A WomanCaitlin Moran

This is a kind of CaiMoran’sorans autobiography of how she sees she is a woman. It is funny and witty and has many forward thinking ideas, but I would not agree with her on all her points. She goes through many important stages in a woman’s life; getting the period, getting married, boy crushes, boobs etc. And the thing I was thinking throughout the book is “I wish I had this as a teenager”. It would have made me feel that what I am going through is normal, although she didn’t make these things sound normal.  3/5

Shadows of the WorkhouseJennifer Worth

Small glimpses of life in the middle 20th century London. It is a portrayal of lives of people who were struggling during that time. The workhouse, the living conditions in that time in London and how people treated each other. I laughed reading this book, I cried, I smiled and I wanted to hear more. It is excellently written and I would recommend this to everybody! 4/5

First 12 books of 2017 - byLiiL

The Three Musketeers Alexandre Dumas

I can’t believe it took me this long to read this classic. It followed the story of D’Artagnan and his musketeer friends. Their blind trust and courageousness. It is an adventure, chivalry and comradery. Quite unexpected. It is not the fastest book to read, but very intriguing and I really wanted to finish the story. I was so excited to learn, as well, that the book is based on real-life events and people, among them D’Artagnans memoir. 3/5

PersepolisMarjane Satrapi

This is actually a two piece graphic novel, which I finished so quickly! Based partly in Iran where the main character Marjane is growing up during the recent Islamic revolution and partly in Europe where she moves as a teenager. It explains what is is like living in this type of a country and what people do to keep their sanity. And later on, it explores Marjane’s feelings of superficial and ignorant Europeans. I recommend everybody to read this one as it opens your eyes to a new culture and the world. The story is so current and I think everybody should read it! 5/5

Me before YouJojo Moyes

If somebody doesn’t know what this book is about I am surprised. It is about a girl who is kind of lost in her life and finds excitement and drive to her life while working as a career to a quadriplegic man. It is a sweet, but also a very sad story. It does keep you reading to find out what happens in the end, although it is quite expected. 3/5

UtopiaSir Thomas More

A story about a world that some might find a dream, other too constrictive. It is a world of the perfect piece, community and one goal. It is an interesting read and it certainly woke my imagination and I instantly wanted to comment on what I was reading. It was a slow book to read, because of it’s monotonous tone. A philosophical read that will make you think. 2/5

The Buried GiantKazuo Ishiguro

One of my favourite books of all time. This book was mystical fantasy. The whole story was a dreamlike tale of a couple’s adventure. The elderly couple struggle upon many challenges, which are directly related to the problems in the real world. Would you like to remember everything or something better to leave unsaid? This story will make you think and it will make you cry, but it is so beautifully written it made me instantly want to read all of the author’s books! Absolutely beautiful book! 5/5

First 12 books of 2017 - byLiiL

My Life On The RoadGloria Steinem

Gloria Steinem’s biography of her travels and experiences when she was travelling to India or around the USA. It is at a time when the women’s movement was firing up and the USA elected their first African American president. This book is a wonderful group of tales about people, how empowering they can be and how when they unite they can make things happen. It was inspiring and at parts very depressing. This book was very concentrated on political and women’s movements, but it provided me with a good insight into the late 90’s of the USA. So Interesting! 4/5

Career of EvilRobert Galbraith

The third book in the Cormoran Strike series and still keeping it strong. I love a good detective book and J.K. Rowlings rich and surprising writing. In this book, Cormoran and his assistant Robin are faced with a serial killer who is threatening them. It is written from both of the heroes view as well as the villains. There are unexpected turns in the love life, there is the deepening relationship in the workplace and the disgusting mind of a serial killer. If you like a detective novel, read this book! 4/5

Animal FarmGeorge Orwell

This book tells a story about farm animals that fight off the human’s of the farm and revolutionise how the farm is kept. At the core, it is about freeing the animals from the human bondage and seeing how new power makes the animals behave. It is interesting to see how these animals start to seem more human the more you read it and how easy it is to manipulate people’s minds through slow propaganda. Interesting but quite depressing! 4/5

1984George Orwell

Very much like the Animal Farm, 1984 follows what seems like a ubiquitous place. A very communist world where people are not allowed to think for themselves, where even though it is supposed to be communist there is a small group of people who are in command and everybody is perfectly manipulated into the same mould. Where love is forbidden, children are coached to spy on their parents and nobody is your friend. Everything is for the good of the republic. It tells about an older man who wakes up to different views and hopes that there is resistance among the people in this country, that it wouldn’t always be like this. This story made me think of North Korea. I don’t know if North Korea is like this, but this is the closest to what I can imagine and it is very horrifying! This book will make you thankful of being in the world that you are in and in the wrong hands good give ideas of how to make it worse. 3/5

The Underground RailroadColson Whitehead

A recent Pulitzer prize winner, this book tells a story about a girl who escapes slavery with the help of the underground railroad. It tells a story of the time when slavery was ending, but people didn’t know what to do with the African Americans. In the south they were a property, in some states they were banned, in the north some became free. In each case, there were difficulties with the people around them. White people were afraid of them and thought of ways of how to minimise their threat, how to elevate themselves. It was an interesting and a quick read, which thought me a lot about the horrible way people were treated at that time. Although, I am not sure if I like that the underground railroad was portrayed in such a literal way, as it made me very confused. 3/5

 

What books have you read in 2017?

With love,

Lii

5 articles for Feminists

Behind every Feminist, there is a Chauvinist – I thought this article was light hearted and on point. It is about a relationship between a man and a woman and how to recognise a chauvinist man. Funnily enough, I recognised several relationships in both categories.

5 articles for Feminists - byLiiL

Seeing My Body With Fresh Eyes – Empowering article showing how the people around you can make you see yourself differently. It makes you believe that people are not always attracted by the media impressed image of a perfect human body, that there is more to a person. It was so wonderful to read about this experience!

The Power of Language To Cage or Free Us – Accompanied by a video of Mayim Bialik where she explains with authority about the power of language this article does explain simply how we can empower each other with language. A must read and a must watch!

5 articles for Feminists - byLiiL

Female Confessions of a Recovering Apologist – Questioning why women should be apologetic about their existence and why we only take the space we feel is left for us in this world, accompanied by a poem.

Why we see Women as Weak – A man explaining from a man’s perspective why women are seen weak, but also explaining how those qualities are what make a woman strong and men weak instead.

 

Share with me any other feminist articles in the comment box below!

With love,

Lii